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Cheryl Asks: I have been married since past two years but since the very beginning of my marriage I have felt that my husband and I are not completely compatible. I have a high sexual drive while he is rarely interested in physical love although he is a gentle and understanding husband. I have had a few affairs out of marriage but the existing ongoing one feels more fulfilling and satisfying than the previous affairs. I am contemplating getting a divorce and then getting married to my boyfriend with whom I am physically more compatible. Is this a good idea? My Birth Details: DOB - 4th Aug 1983, 19.45 Hrs, Bronx, Wyoming, USA.

Astrologer Ashutosh: You are a very passionate and energetic person and this passion comes out in your life in form of great creativity, heightened sexual desire and physical energy. But, such high energy levels, if not balanced and controlled by the beneficial planets, can do more harm than good for your personal life. This is true in your case.

You were born under Capricorn (Makar) ascendant and Taurus (Vrishabh) moon sign. In the house of marriage, in your horoscope, Sun and Mars are placed. Also, there are present a few other planetary yogas which indicate a tendency to get into secret affairs and to attempt to satisfy the desires through the easiest means possible. In short, you are not made to live a usual married life.

Getting a divorce and then getting married to your boyfriend is not the solution to your problem because as soon as you get married to your boyfriend your secret affair with him will no longer be secret. Then, the yogas for 'secret affairs' will take you further on into other secret affairs. It will be like creating a bigger problem to solve a minor one.

As an astrologer it is not my work to be judgmental about what is right and what is wrong. Nature has designed people in very diverse ways and all its ways are equal in my eyes. I give my answers on basis of the unique yogas in each individual horoscope irrespective of the social or legal norms in their places of residence.

You are not made to be in a single relationship at a time. The planets in your horoscope will always create situations for entering into more than one relationships at the same time. You must understand this and then try to control such situations and your desires. Then only you can decide about staying in the marriage or getting a divorce.

Following solutions can be of help to you -

1. Try to dissipate your excess energy by performing strenuous and tiring exercises regularly. Do Yoga and Pranayam too to help you channelize your physical energy into spiritual one. The negative fallout of your high energies can also result in some violent incidents directly or indirectly related to your marriage or your love affairs.

2. Avoid wearing bright colours like Red, Orange and Yellow. Instead you should wear more of Blue (All shades), Purple and Black.

3. Your desire to have extra-marital affairs also arises due to a deep set feeling of insecurity and a fear of loneliness. You have assumed that being physically intimate will reduce your anxieties and it will make you happier. But, in fact, such affairs actually increase your anxieties and insecurities. The more you indulge in such affairs the more the feeling of guilt increases within your heart. This causes the seesaw like changes in emotions for and against your marriage. Try to understand this fact and consult a good psychologist to get a better perspective regarding your thoughts and feelings.

4. Gem Therapy - Wear a good quality Blue Sapphire (Neelam) in a silver ring on the middle finger of your left hand. This is a gemstone for Saturn and it will help you reduce your bodily energies and the desires without compromising with your general good health. 

5. The last and wisest solution could be to continue the affairs as they are, if you are happy with the situation and if your near and dear ones are not negatively affected by them. But, as such affairs cannot be continued for long without suffering from their negative results, you will have to find out a solution sooner or later.



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